A Year Of Change

Corny title huh?
It's very fitting for the present time to date I think.

So, I made a list. In November. It wasn't long but it was specific and contained several goals and hopes for my life. Some specific, some pretty general, all important to me.

The above statement is also very corny. But true.

My boyfriend laughed at me as I took out my pack of classic color markers and made a list that I neatly tucked in our nightstand before I fell asleep.

What was on it?

In a nutshell. Simplicity. Things I'd been threatening, complaining and frankly just talking about changing for a long time. It was a plan to get my life back from the foggy place it had become. There was one consistent problem I could pin point.

My problem. Me.

It's easy to blame it on people, work and things in your life but it was this fear that kept holding me back and that fear which led me deeper and deeper into my unhappiness and dissolution. I didn't know how to make a change that benefited me. Too afraid to let myself and others down because I could still fail.

My explanation gets a little "heady" from there. I've always had a fear of trying and failing so I make excuses and often fail at following through because.... then what if I fail? I won't have an excuse anymore.

It's a little weird but true. Change, real change, even good change, can be scary.

But it is only with scary that we find out who we are and what makes us live up to the our greatest potential.

So. I changed some stuff.

And in America's "Yes We Can Year of Change" state I will finally start to see how I can measure up.

Stay tuned....